## There are a few things that you should know about Boston

The first is that E line trains will never get you to Kenmore. You there, ignoring the signs and announcements about how to get to Fenway, you’re going to be late for that game.

The second is that everyone moving on September 1st is lost souls. Please also know that everyone is moving on September 1st. Every year.

September 1st is the day you realize that it doesn’t matter how much character the spiral staircase going up 4 flights to your new elevator-less Beacon Hill apartment brings to the yard. You are equal parts Sisyphus and the guy chasing Joseph Gordon-Levitt; you cannot win.

You should also be aware, that on this day, there are no more moving vans available anywhere in the first-world. And, if you and Doc Brown are lucky enough to get a U-Haul, the street-level Green Line wires are rumored to provide significant energy to get it up to 88 mph. This is important, as time travel is the only conceivable way to adhere to the ‘midnight move-out’ obligated by your expiring lease and the ‘late-morning, early afternoon move-in’ obligated by your new one.

If you don’t have to move, I suggest going down to Copley Station and watching all the folks not transferring.

<JOKE ABOUT 101 />

Tags: traffic 101

If you can make it through bedbugs you can make it through anything, which isn’t even close to being true but is pithy and probably something people say.

Tags: bedbugs

## We all have our enemies

“You have enemies? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.” - Winston Churchill

## There's something I want to say

  • Navin R. Johnson: You look so beautiful and peaceful, you almost look dead. And I'm glad, because there's something I want to say that's always been very difficult for me to say.
  • Navin R. Johnson: "I slit the sheet, the sheet I slit, and on the slitted sheet I sit." There. I've never been relaxed enough around anyone to say that.

Tags: The Jerk

I’ve got a special purpose

Ladies.

Beautiful scene from “The Jerk” (via joeljosefsson)

Tags: The Jerk

## Dutch brewery claims world’s strongest beer, over-under on holding title is one week

Place your bets, place them now.

We’ve been here before. A week ago. And now we have this:

A Dutch brewer with a penchant for competition has laid claim to creating the world’s strongest brew: a beer that is some 60 per cent alcohol by volume.

Nothing more to add here with the exception that it’s shocking an American brewery isn’t in this competition somewhere. Despite what you may think, it’s the US of A that’s innovating and wowing while some of the older powerhouses only recently realized simply iterating may not be enough (England, I’m looking at you).

## My online reading week in review

The best of it: July 18, 2010 to July 24, 2010

SLEDGEHAMMER AND WHORE

Because I would never believe it if it was on a screen:

NETWORK NOTES: Too much. The whole photo thing while waiting for the john. Ick. Maudlin. It makes me feel sorry for her and now I’m getting a little creeped out by the detective. This is not blue sky. This is the opposite of blue sky.

ME: I was thinking of a Coldplay song over a montage.

NETWORK NOTES: Oh we love Coldplay. That’d be really powerful.

Vodka and Vermouth

Because Art fights the good fight:

According to The Fine Art of Mixing Drinks (1948), vodka and vermouth together become a Bradford. Now that’s a drink name. It’s not a Vodka Martini. It’s a Bradford. There is no more need for question or argument; the issue has been resolved.

Language is a virus from 4th grade

Because it’s Dave Holmes:

I woke up one day a couple of years ago and everyone was using the word shitshow. Like, really glibly and casually, like they’d always been saying it. Oh, traffic was a shitshow.

## Politico on autotune

Politico:

The rapper distorts his voice at various points using autotune, a technique made popular by the rapper T-Pain who has frequently relied on it in his widely popular songs such as “Buy U a Drank,” “I’m Sprung” and “I’m N Luv (Wit a Stripper).”

That line is neon white.

A hilarious article in it’s own right, given that the awful Politico is writing about an awful rap video made for the awful Alvin Greene.

The story of Charo and the Sun Country Wine Cooler

daveholmes:


Never forget.