# lljn

## The End of History, the end of reason, and dead animal beer

Via Beernews.org (note: my emphasis):

Controversial beer makers BrewDog have unveiled the world’s stronger and most expensive beer.

The Fraserburgh brewery has unveiled their 55% ABV The End of History tipple priced at a staggering £500 a bottle. Only 12 bottles of the blond Belgian ale have been created - with each one coming in a unique bottle made with stuffed animals dressed in eccentric outfits.

If there’s a news story about beer and a minor element is that each bottle comes at £500 pricetag ($758 in the US as of today), then something is fucking awry. For the bargain hunter’s sake, I hope it’s a 750ml bottle; for the animal that just fell victim to the world’s strangest colonoscopy, I hope it’s just the 330.

Backing up: it’s a 55% ABV beer. That’s 110 proof. That’s the proof of my favorite gin which is even high in its own right. If you don’t know your proofs, here’s a little cheat sheet:

• Budweiser: 8.4 proof
• Kahlua: 40 proof
• Grey Goose: 80 proof
• Jack Daniels: 90 proof
• Beer in a dead animal: 110 proof

BrewDog has been here before (sans experiments with taxidermy). They’ve gone back and forth with Schorschbräu - a German brewery - in a battle to see who can make the most alcoholic beer.

Here is a condensed history:

• Samuel Adams makes Utopias: 24% | 48 Proof
• Schorschbräu makes some beer and claims it’s stronger
• BrewDog makes Tactical Nuclear Penguin: 32% | 64 Proof
• Schorschbräu makes Schorschbräu Schorschbock: 40% | 80 Proof
• BrewDog makes Sink the Bismarck!: 41% | 82 Proof
• Schorschbräu ups the Schorschbock to be: 43% | need I keep doubling this for you guys?

Some of these beers were announced almost on top of each other and with jabs betwixt the two that included one brewery calling the other “sausage munchers” and the other retaliating with accustations of cross-dressing.

And now, this 110 proof thing is here. Is it a beer? I don’t even know anymore. I don’t want to talk about the Reinheitsgebot. I don’t want to talk real ale. I do want to put this in my mouth, slowly, and with an ambulance on call.

I feel like I did after I read The Stranger in ninth-grade: I can’t wrap my brain around it. I’m angry and I’m confused and I’m angry and I’m scared and I don’t know why.

I will do what I did after I read The Stranger in ninth-grade: I’m going to talk about it at parties to make me sound cool and it won’t work.

(Photo courtesy of stv.tv)

## The Alcademics Quiz

Assign yourself one (1) point every time you answer yes to a question. At the end of the quiz, tally up your score and we’ll see where you stand.

1. Do you take any care when considering the beverages you’re about to poor down your gullet?
2. Do you live in or around San Francisco or do you visit the Bay Area at least once a year?

Total up your points and add one because you like the name Camper English. You do; there’s no point in asking.

If you scored one (1) or more points, then you passed the Alcademics Quiz. To collect you prize, head over to Alcademics.com and hit the RSS feed button on the right side of the page to start having delicious, delicious, boozy knowledge poured into your reader of choice daily (or close to it).

It’s good for you.

## On the subject of a mosque at Ground Zero

“I think we should build nothing but shrines [at Ground Zero]. One of every kind of church. Spare no expense. I thought they should move Shea Stadium there. That’s another kind of shrine. No serious business at Ground Zero from now on. Just contemplation, prayer, reflection and baseball.”

— Dave Winer

via marco

## I stand corrected, kids are cute

Jim Gaffigan:

Kudos to the parents of the 8 yr old who yelled “yankees suck” as I rode by on a tandem bike with my daughter in my NY cap.

## My last night

I am joined by two others, sitting around my kitchen table, with beverages in hands. It’s about 1 AM and the conversation has just turned to plans for the rest of the weekend.

I offer up that I’ll be spending my Sunday glass blowing.

We each jump to make the first This American Life joke.

Everything feels right.

## Punchuate

pun·chu·ate

pən ch oōˌāt

mariseca:

punchuate (v)

defined as: to assault someone’s senses with punctuation; to overuse ellipses, question marks, exclamation points, etc.; to inflict emotional/intellectual pain via use of [excessive] punctuation marks.

note: judgement of punchuation, and resulting accusation, is generally on the part of the beholder, not the user, and definition of punchuation may result in heated debate of the communication use, tone, and overall mission. for example, person A may use ellipses as a method of implying an eyebrow raise, pause, or non-verbal gesture of disbelief or annoyance. person B, upon receipt of punctuation/punchuation, may issue death threats to person A if they utilize this form of communication ever again.

to each their own interpretation.

…

Inspired by said person’s gross overuse of “…” and “?” and “?!” as standalone messages, this word was coined last night. This won’t settle our feud but, when you see it referenced in the police blotter, you’ll know why I was driven to frogbox my first victim.

## Thor: Should I care?

Name: Leif Jarrud Nordberg.

Is: an American of Swedish ancestry.

Knows: the difference between fact and fiction.

Although: pretty geeky.

Still: feels cheap and dirty when looking at this tacky still from the upcoming “Thor” movie.

I will always have twelve year old Swedish vampires.

[Via the LA Times]

## Presented without comment

## Mah Na Mah Na

For what it’s worth - which is so very, very little - I give you “Mah Nà Mah Nà” throughout the years.

My focus is waning.