A trip to the café

Counter lady: Sir, I know you ordered a pot of tea, but we’re going to go ahead and give you straight lava. Frankly, you look like you’re a little too attached to your tongue and we talked it over when you came in and, honestly, we’d all feel better if it had that disturbingly rough feeling and you couldn’t taste anything for a week or so. Also, it may kill you: we did say it’s lava. Okay, it’s definitely going to kill you. Yeah, yeah. Did you lead a good life? We hope you led a good life. Alright now, have a good day—of reckoning.

They’re so polite.