I planned to post some snarky Google Trends graph about how these girls have appeared out of no where.
Ya know, to be clever and such. I guess.
But there were too many terms (see: women Tiger has cheated on his wife with) for Google – the king of the friggin’ Web world – to query simultaneously.
Dang, Tiger. Dang.
Real time search statistics fascinate me. Sometimes spikes in keyword searches or Twitter hash tags revolve around an idea or an event in the public sphere – searches for sports scores, tweets about a movie – and other times the results show us the secret, private thoughts of the masses.
Today’s case study: Mother’s Day and the collective shame of millions of sons and daughters. Let me highlight some of the most popular searched terms on Google right now – from the US of A only.
1. free printable mothers day cards Cheap freakin’ bastards
2. happy mothers day comments Unoriginal bastards
5. mother lover This is the fifth most popular search in the US right now? Just damn creepy.
6. olive garden Because you shouldn’t spare any expense when treating your mother.
7. wanda sykes Maybe she’s a mother?
10. funny mothers day poems
13. halle berry baby pictures What the hell?!
15. ecards
16. free ecards.com
19. outback steakhouse Which mother doesn’t deserve a bloomin’ onion? These restaurant ones continue, so I’ll skip the rest.
21. mothers day myspace graphics W-what? But why? Mothers and Myspace?
22. e cards hallmark free
28. mothers day text messages For when you don’t want to waste those precious minutes and you’re too busy to come up with something yourself.
The list continues in this fashion, highlighting America’s creativity and classiness. Not to be outdone, I sent my love via Twitter.
Via Google Trends – the actual position of results may have changed since I posted this.
